Wednesday, August 16, 2017

7 Things I Learned Living On My Own

Independency comes with some life lessons that I have to figure out on my own, or with my trusted sidekick YouTube. I've become my best do-it-yourselfer than ever expected and I owe it all to living on my own. Some things I expected, others, no one could have prepared me for. What I do know is there are no rules except: do whatever the hell I want.

It is impossible to shop for one.

I have become the queen of throwing stuff out. I feel like I'm always eating but somehow all my food still goes bad? Sorry bank account, I got carried away at Sprouts and was unable to keep up my end of the bargain.

You don't know independency until you have to pay beyond a co-pay.

A co-pay is just for regular routine check ups, but if I need actual work done, that is another ball game. Choosing to pay upwards of $250+ on a root canal when Nordstrom is having a sale is the defining moment of being an adult.

You find out how dirty your habits are willing to get.

How long can I leave this take out container on my coffee table? Is opening the door without pants on THAT bad? Not leaving the couch for 3 days at a time has got to be some kind of record, right? Not to mention you probably do everything naked on a consistent basis. Could be a laundry faux pas, could be pure laziness. No shame in your nakey game.

No questions, no explanations.

You are your own ruler. No one is here to ask you where you're going, when you'll be home or judge what loose state you walk through the front door in. OR maybe your Friday night consists of some pasta, a bottle of Stella Rose and some trash TV. At the end of the day, no one really cares because it is JUST you. Having the ability to come and go as you please is what freedom is all about.

You learn to cook real food.

When I say cook I actually mean you become self-sufficient enough to answer the door when your post-mates driver arrives. Honestly though, when you cook you feel unstoppable. No one can question your sense of independency because you have the ability to prepare a damn meal for yourself. At the same time, if you don't feel like cooking or answering your door and calling a bag of kettle corn dinner is enough for you, that is your right.

You understand what you're TRULY afraid of.

Seriously, it is just me, myself, and I, and possibly a spider or two that I cannot justify calling someone in a different zip code to come take care of.  Have no fear, I am here.

You have a love-hate relationship with others.

I typically like being by myself but I do catch myself wishing for some company every now and again.  I like being able to decide what is playing on the TV, what temperature the air is set to, and not worrying about someone eating my leftovers. At the same time, it's not the same finishing a bottle of wine by yourself. Talking to yourself kind of gets old after a while as well.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

What Rachel From The Bachelorette Taught Me About The Love Journey

Let's just all take a second and be honest with ourselves that The Bachelor/ Bachelorette series is some top quality trash television. The idea that contestants have eight weeks to find love is utterly ridiculous yet every Monday we tune in to see the tears, drama, and overall romance. In truth, despite what the show portrays, there can be some words of wisdom throughout the series, even if it means doing the exact opposite of what we see.


Mostly because the season is over so you should know by now but if for some reason you behind do not read any further. 

Let me recap for you so you can see where I'm coming from.

Peter and Bryan are the two contestants left. Don't even pretend to act surprised that Eric was voted off, we all saw that coming.

Peter and Rachel have clear feelings for one another. Emotions run high with them, and you can tell they care about being together. HOWEVER, Peter is unable to commit to a proposal because a proposal is like marriage to him and he is not comfortable proposing to someone he met eight weeks ago.

Bryan is so committed to Rachel. She is the light of his world, and I genuinely believe Rachel has strong feelings for him. They do have a good tie together. He said he was starting to fall for her on episode two; what is that like four days in? Bryan is so ready to propose even though the closer it gets to the end the more distant Rachel becomes but he is just waiting for that final rose. The boy has patience; I'll give him that.

All Rachel has been saying this ENTIRE season is how she wants a proposal at the end of this. No one told me she was looking for love.

You can be in love with two people at the same time.

Scratch that three people, did't she tell Dean she was falling in love with him too? 
Ben Higgins did it, so can Rachel. This is still a very new concept for the bachelor(ette). Typically, the bachelorette is NOT allowed to express love feelings of any kind to the contestant until one of them is down on one knee. I would just hate to be the guy that gets married to the girl who said "I love you" with REAL GENUINE TEARS in her eyes to another man when that same girl is more excited about the Neil Lane ring than the words coming out of your mouth during a proposal. That was a mouthful, but so was Bryan's proposal.

The weather is a clear indicator of what matrimony with your person will look like

I think I had to pause and rewind at least six times because while Rachel and Bryan are trying to have an intimate moment, the building they're next to is about to topple over on them. It looks like the couple is off to a rocky start already.

Love makes you really dumb

Okay, Rachel has a degree, is a lawyer, the daughter of a judge, and is an overall educated human being. Peter does not want to get married after eight weeks, how is that an illogical argument.

You CAN settle for a proposal and still be happy

If happiness looks like a three carrot fantasy Neil Lane engagement ring and a guy who is not the one you were fighting for then I think Rachel has her match made in heaven. Diamonds are forever, right Rachel? I think Bryan will make Rachel very happy, but at the end of the day, Bryan looks like such a sucker in this whole love triangle.

Rejection makes you see the light

When did Rachel know she wanted Bryan? When Peter said no.

Ultimately, this show is about finding the one thing we are all seeking. Take away what you can and run with it because if Chris Harrison has anything to say about it, there are no rules when it comes to the journey of love.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

My Friend Uses A Sugar Daddy But Here’s Why I’m Not Worried About Her

When people hear the phrase “Sugar Baby” or “Sugar Daddy” there is a sudden change of tone in the conversation from light hearted jokes to repulsion, bewilderment, or plain curiosity. In today's world, a sugar baby is typically a part of a physical and emotional companionship in exchange for money. However, that is not ALWAYS the case, which is a common misconception. My friend is a young, intelligent, funny and energetic millennial that is naive enough to play along but not stupid enough to get heavily involved. 

She is also, conclusively, a Sugar Baby.

It is all about the initial meet. How you meet a sugar daddy indicates a lot about how the relationship will develop. If you meet a sugar daddy at the club, or online I would bet the odds are pretty high that it is going to lead to a lot of late nights which will result in the prominent stereotype of what a sugar daddy is after. My friend, we will call her Rebecca, was introduced by her supervisor to her sugar daddy as a networking connection. There were no premeditated notions this would turn into a sugar daddy-sugar baby relationship, which was the primary kicker for me.

One dinner led to two dinners, which led to drinks, which lead to a plethora of opportunities. This guy, we will call him Hector, is an older, successful, traditional male who just highly enjoyed Rebecca's company. What can I say, the girl is extremely comfortable to be around. At this point, I just thought they were hanging out and getting to know one another. It was an entirely innocent relationship to start, and I found normalcy in her connections with him. She would always tell me when she was going out with him, and I expected not to hear from her for the rest of the night because Rebecca never checked her phone when she was with him. Imagine having so much fun with someone you forget you even have a phone, crazy right? I usually gave her 24 hours to make contact with me before I would actually start to wonder. She never missed her window.

It was when she told me he invited her to fly her out of the country with him for about two weeks when she and I realized this was more than just a networking connection now.

Girl, you got yourself a sugar daddy.

Traveling Rebecca was hesitant about, and rightfully so. It is not every day someone offers to pay for your passport, fly you out of the country, and have everything paid for along the way. It was a  business trip for him, and he innocently wanted some company along for the ride. She got a lot of spit back when she explained the situation to her loved ones. You can't just pull a Bella, fly to another country and leave a note. Those were some tough conversations but legally she was free to do what she wanted and ultimately decided to go. Proud of you girl; because I was honestly not worried. She is a tough girl with a good sense of fight or flight and right or wrong. We made some safety arrangements JUST INCASE things got shady on the island. Surprise surprise, she came back in one piece and having the time of her life. From then on out their relationship was taken to the next level.

As a young millennial just trying to make it in the world, she had a regular paying job with a normal working schedule. Hector acknowledged that. He paid for her dental work, repaired her car, gave her shopping money and still took her out to the finest bars for wining and dining. How could you worry about a relationship like that? He is taking these hardships away from her so she can focus on being successful in the future.

Still to this day I have not met this gentleman in person. I've seen their texts, and I've heard their conversations. Nothing about this is sexually motivated. This is purely two generations that happen to see eye to eye, which I think is great since the rest of the world seems to be so torn by age gaps. 

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

How I Slowly Stopped Wearing Bras

This journey has been a long one, but it needs to be documented. Being a working woman in the world of professionals, not wearing a bra is a pretty bold move and I always thought the braless life was not a viable option for me. I often found myself wondering if I could get away with wearing certain clothes, if people would notice or if I would be uncomfortable. I've worked in a lot of different departments with a lot of different dress codes. In fact, it has taken me three years to get to the point; I am now.

Ultimately, bras suck. I could go on forever about why bras are the most annoying and troublesome piece of clothing on the female body. They’re straining, never fit right, the tag is always irritable, and they’re A LOT of maintenance. I think every girl can agree that taking your bra off at the end of the day is the most liberating feeling a woman could ever have. Guys, this is like the equivalent of taking your tie off, but your tie doesn’t have a wire going around your neck. I’m not here to complain though; I’m here to explain why I have fallen off the bra wearing spectrum. 

My braless lifestyle all started with my retail job. I was told to wear athletic wear. Yoga pants, tank tops, sports bras and a jacket here and there. I think it is fair for me to say the sports bras are what got me to this point. Bras with no underlining in them are a polyester blessing. This was the beginning of my underwire opt out. Going to work and being told my uniform was to wear a sports bra was so liberating. Like yes, I'd love to be lazy and not wear my $65 bombshell bra from Victoria's Secret that squeezes the life out of my back and soul. After that, I realized how comfortable I was, and from that point on I effortlessly talked myself into why I shouldn't be wearing bras on a daily basis. 

Bras are expensive. Paying anywhere from $20-$75 for a bra is just outrageous to someone who was working a part time job, and going to school. I started buying bralettes which are like $12 as opposed to underwire money suckers. I bought two, and it spiraled from there. 

I felt uncomfortable because society made me feel uncomfortable. There was always the fear of the nipple.  always thought I would be exposing myself if I wore anything less than an underwired t-shirt bra being raised around bra wearing woman. I realized I only had those fears because society planted them into my head. We over over sexualize molecular aspects, such as nipples, causing women to have to wear contraptions that are foamy, wired and uncomfortable. Once I got past the idea that someone might disapprove of my thinly lined brassiere, not wearing a bra got a WHOLE lot easier. I didn't go out bare boobs running in the street, but I made my way into the bandeau world that would make your mother ask "What is that supposed to cover?" #SorryMom 

After I had realized I stopped wearing all my bras entirely and focused solely on bralettes I invested in one of those sticky bras. Yeah, the bra you saw on Instagram for a HOT minute. Bought one, tried it, loved it, took it off, and my skin was red for a week. It looked like I had broken out in a rash. It didn't hurt, but my boobs had blotches of Satan all over them. As if I wasn't ALREADY tapping out of the bra life, that sealed the deal. 

In general, I stopped wearing a bra because of thats what I wanted to do. It’s not harming anyone in the process, and I am still respectful of the situation. I am not ANTI-bra, but I am when-the-situation-calls-for-it bra. I am, overall, more comfortable and confident not wearing a bra. I wouldn’t wear one around my friends or my family, my clothing options opened up so much, and I realized how little people cared. Most don’t even notice, and it’s a fun little secret I can keep to myself. Of course, no one is laughing but me, as per usual. Now I’m living a braless, carefree, laughing-at-myself life and I couldn’t feel more unhooked from societal expectations.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

20 Ways To Show You’re A Packer Fan Without Going To A Game

Green Bay fans are the most dedicated devotees when it comes to their team. The start of football season is like Christmas to them. Green Bay blood is passed down through generations. Once a Packer fan, always a Packer fan, even without ever attending a game. Green Bay fans do not need to be sitting front row of the playoffs to demonstrate their dedication. They do so in various other ways.

1. You yell at the TV as if the players can hear you 

because that is what you would be doing if you were at the game anyways

2. You might not be able to go to a game, but you have taken the Lambeau tour on multiple occasions

Yelling Go Pack, Go in an empty stadium is a moving moment.

3. Color coordinating your outfit to match your Green Bay accessories

Your fall colors are gold and green

4. Your unborn first born is already on the list for season tickets

It a good thing they can will those down.

5. You have thought about or actually was married at Lambeau Field.

Love at first down

6. You own a hat made of foam cheese

You also proudly daunt it at any Packer bar in your city

7. You probably bought someone else a hat made of foam cheese

8. You took a picture in those hats and had no problem blasting them all over the internet

9. Your den or garage is decked out in Packer memorabilia

A lot of it was passed down. Pack blood is thicker than water.

10. Along with your kitchenware

11.  Even your toast is a fan

Eat, Sleep and Breathe Green Bay Packers.

12. Your Christmas photo includes your favorite players

13. You know where all the Packer bars are in your town

14. You follow all your favorite players on social media

15. It will be a bye week, and you will still wear your Green Bay jersey

16. Along with your leggings

17. You have a love-hate-love relationship with Brett Farve

We all go off the deep end but eventually find our way back.

18.  Only Packers are allowed to leap

Don't even try to put LeRoy's leap to shame.

19. You've worn your jersey to church

Your pastor probably did too

20. You can be a part time owner


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