Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Hit Them With Your Wit!

Everyone has superiors in their lives. Some are more tolerable than others. The ones that are not so tolerable you just want to be able to say something so smart back to their remark that they can the insulted but they cant be taken aback giving you the upper hand, at least for the rest of the day.  Micromanagers, bossy siblings, professors... sometimes the circumstances just call to let them have it.
I encourage you to use these lines, but to proceed with caution because every person is different and their reactions are unpredictable.

So here we have it, snarky stuff to say to your superiors....

Manager says: "I don't care how many times you have to do it, you'll do it until it's right."
You simply reply, "I'm paid by the hour I don't care how many times I do it either." and then leave a big smirk on your face. Obviously this remark would only work on someone who is paid by the hour, sorry salary workers your'e on your own for this one.

Police officer says: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
You simply say "Because you wanted to see me." it will at least throw him off guard for a bit and you might get off with a warning, but you have to be an excellent judge of character on this one because if hes not in the mood you might want to try something more flattering like "Because you wanted to show me your new uniform (or badge, or motorcycle, etc.)" Maybe the officer just wants a compliment. 

Anyone says: "Are you leaving?"
You simply say, "No, I am arriving backwards." and give them like a funny look. Not like an "are-you-stupid look because you want to make them laugh. So make it like a cute smile like you're about to laugh BUT DON'T LAUGH, it'll throw off you're entire mission.

Parent says: "You are so lazy. You don't do anything in this house!"
You simply say, "I'm just on energy saving mode."
This one is definitely not a home run. The parent could laugh but you might not get out of it but at least you wont feel as miserable doing it knowing you won that argument.


Say what you feel. It's not being rude, it's called being real.

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