Thursday, February 26, 2015

8 Things You Thought Were Black and Blue But Were Actually White and Gold

If you haven't heard about this blue/black white/gold dress madness let me fill you in. 


This girl was freaking out about this dress on TUMBLR and posted it trying to figure out if the dress was black or if it was gold. When you look at it you will see it is either a blue dress with black stripes or a gold dress with white stripes. Thats up to your eyes. As much as you want to see black and blue you won't be able to unless your eyes want you too. 

There are a few reasons for this:
1.) The lighting in which you see the dress
2.) Near sighted sees black/blue far sighted sees white/gold
3.) Younger eyes see black/blue older eyes see white/gold




You be the judge...

Anyways, I'm not here to give you the biggest mind trip of the year. I'm here to inform you of items you've seen as black and blue but are actually white and gold. #SorryNotSorry

1. That tattoo you got... hate to break it to you macho man, it's actually white and gold. How elegant of you.



2.  That backpack you thought you sent your little boy to school with. Sorry mom, it was white and gold. No wonder it looked so dirty so fast.


3. That car you just had airbrushed. The accents look great but are white and gold really your colors?



4.Your wedding cake didn’t match your wedding colors… no wonder people were whispering


5. Your scarf was the statement piece of your outfit. What is even more awkward is you were, probably, wearing white after labor day and didn’t even realize it.  Shame shame. 



6. Van Gogh would have been so upset that you painted the black and blue NIGHT sky with white and gold. Surprise its actually called Gold Night not "Starry Night."


7. Let's talk about that eye shadow you wore to prom. Trying to blend those colors perfectly you ended up with a mixture of shimmers and a dress look-a-like on your eyelid.



8.When your printer ran out of black ink so you switched to navy hoping the teacher wouldn’t notice. Only to find out the ink was white and gold and almost impossible to read.


This is the future guys. Welcome to 2015. What a great time to be alive. When we can't figure out if a dress is blue and black or white and gold.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

14 Taylor Swift Lyrics to Describe Your Hangover




When your hangover feels like it is never going to end

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
-Blank Space 

Going through your mind and regretting every decision drunk you thought was a good idea

Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted
Did you have to ruin what was shining? Now it's all rusted
-Bad Blood

Even though you knew what you were getting yourself into

'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
-I Knew You Were Trouble

Feeling hungry but simultaneously wanting to throw up

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way
It's miserable and magical.
Oh, yeah
-22

You swear to yourself you're never drinking again

We are never ever ever getting back together,
We are never ever ever getting back together,
-We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

The black hole begins as everything hurts and you feel like you're dying

Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
-Mean


Piecing back together the night through your snaps and what people tell you

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
-Love Story


People talking at a reasonable level and you think they're yelling at you

So here's to everything
Coming down to nothing
Here's to silence
That cuts me to the core
-Forever and Always


Waking up with the taste of your drinks still lingering on your tongue

You should've said "No", you should've gone home
You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go
-Should've Said No

You wake up feeling suspiciously fine and then the hangover kicks in

Wait, the worst is yet to come, oh no
Screaming, crying, perfect storms
-Blank Space


Waking up absurdly early and realizing it is daylight out

The lights are so bright
-Welcome To New York

Waking up with In explainable aches 

Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
-I Knew You Were Trouble


When you're hangover is finally coming to an end

Like any true love, it drives you crazy
But you know you wouldn't change anything, anything, anything
-Welcome to New York

Your hangover in general

I thought heaven can't help me now.
Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down
-Wildest Dreams






Sunday, February 22, 2015

20 Obvious Signs You’re A Tri Sigma

"To receive much, you must give much"




1. We appreciate the nautical theme a little bit more now.
2. We can’t give out stuffed animals for Big/Little. We do metal sailboats from Ross.
3. We all appreciate the fact we can make a sailboat with our hands.
4. We can make Sigmas as well.
5. We get irritated when people say “Tri Sig.”
6. Kids make a more significant impact on our life now because of our philanthropy.  
7. We are not EEE.
8. We get in the habit of saying “women” or "woman” not "girl(s)."
9. The date 4/20 has a different meaning to us.
10.Purple has probably become one of our favorite colors. 
11. We are always hoping to make an appearance in "The Triangle.”
12. We get so excited because we are a sister to Carrie Underwood.
13. We know what Sigma, Sigma, Sigma literally means.
14. We have many white dresses, but only one set of white shoes.
15. Our motto makes us feel like a thug.
16. Standards are not something we are sent too.
17. We feet a little bit more "strat" knowing Tri Sigma's jewel is a pearl.
18. We do things in threes.
19. We still use Barbie Dolls.
20. We sign all of our emails off with "S.L.A.M."






    Inspiration for this post was found here.

    Wednesday, February 18, 2015

    Things I Would Rather Do Than Write My Essay

    ​'Twas the night before finals and all through the school, 
    all the students were sleeping, in a puddle of drool. 
    All of the scantrons were missing, but they didn't care
    Because no matter what, their grade wouldn't be fair.
    With the clock striking 2:45 am and me re-reading the same paragraph for the 6th time, it is safe to say I am not feeling finals.  So instead, I'll make a list of everything I would rather be doing than studying for finals.

    1. Watch tutorials on how to fold clothes.


    2. Knit my ugly christmas sweater


    3. Read Cosmopolitan to my grandma


    4. Burn my tongue on hot coffee... about 15 times


    5.  Tattoo "Its Lit" on my forehead

    It's almost like a pun since thats where all my great ideas come from. 


    6. Read my entire math textbook 

    At least ill get some studying done... oh wait I'm not even taking math


    7. Actually read iTunes terms and conditions

    Is this even English?


    8. Color code, alphabetize, and item sort my closet


    9. Watch a a croquet competition


    10. Make up a dance routine to Gold Digger by Kanye and perform it at a wedding


    11. Try out a career in BMX


    12. Find every match in my sock drawer

    Talk about being productive

    13.  Get that root canal I've been putting off worked on


    14. Empty my savings account on toothpicks


    15. Hit my pinky toe on every door I see

    You have to know I'm serious now​


    16. Watch a Youtube video that wont stop buffering


    17. Reorganize an Old Navy rack on Black Friday

    Thats what the tutorials were for

    Tuesday, February 17, 2015

    Hard Name, Hard Time

    It's kind of weird how you come out of the womb with a label attached to you already. You're brought into this world and people just start mumbling and cooing this word at you (which is actually your name) and your a baby so you just take it, like you don't have an option. We get our names for a lot of reasons, maybe your parents have a story with it, maybe it was after a relative, maybe they just liked it and thats the extent of your name history.
    My name is Jordan which means the river of judgement or to flow down. Whatever, thats another story for another time. (I say this a lot but do I ever really get to those stories?)

    I consider myself a lucky one since my name is two syllables with no silent letters or accents to have to worry about. However, my name is a boy name. Maybe not so much anymore, but when I was born 1993, it was a hardcore common boys name.  I only have a few problems when it comes to my name:
    1. I'm associated with Michael Jordan more than I bargained for.
    2. "Jordan?" "Jordan." "Jordan?" "Jordan." Like they don't believe me thats my name.
    3. "I have a son named Jordan." Yes please tell me about your little BOY with the same name as me. I'll tell you about the country I have with my name as well.




    Don't get me wrong, I've grown to appreciate my name. I'm kind of happy I don't have the same name as everyone out there like Jessica, Sarah, or Brittany. (three most popular names of 1993 btw).

    ANYWAYS, my name is not difficult to pronounce, but 47% of the populations is. Okay, I made that statistic up, but I want you all to take me seriously. I've had enough schooling experience and awkward situations of watching teachers struggle with names at the tip of their tongue to be an almost expert on the topic of difficult names. Let's explore some pros and cons of having a name no one can pronounce, shall we?

    PROS: 

    • It's unique. If they're having a hard time pronouncing the name, that means they've never seen it before. So, either your foreign or unique, but for the most part we can tell what answer that is. 



    • You can make up your own name to tell the barista at Starbucks. Technically you're doing them a favor by not making them sound out and/or butcher the spelling of your name on your coffee cup. Your name might be Soairse Ronan but you just tell her your name is Michelle (and the barista will still probably spell it wrong).  



    • "Congratulations you've won, (insert awful pronunciation of name here)" Thats great for her theres no one here by that name. *Click* Its true, if they get your name completely wrong, there really is no one there by that name. You can screen your own calls now. 



    • It's amazing how many different ways people can say your name. You can thank the English language for that one though with our short and long vowels, plus silent letters.  



    CONS:

    • You could possibly lose out on some opportunities or promotions because of your name. That could just be a rumor I read in Cosmo Magazine but it makes sense. "Hi, I'd like to talk to Miss Zyphnerey regarding her resume." No, thats not going it happen. They're going to take one look at your last name and say yeah I'm not wasting my time with that name. 



    • The attendance caller just skips over the name or says" I'm not even going to try to pronounce this," "Excuse me if I butcher your name," etc. Negating one of the pros.



    • Negating another Pro, you are the only one with that name, Ts easier to look you up on social media background checks, etc. Be on your best behavior.



    • Your name is foreign so the teacher thinks they're clever and says "Hmm, "Garcia," is that Spanish?" You give them the "duh" look and then they expect you to know the language of your name. 



    • You get some funny ways of people re-asking you how to pronounce your name. I think I'm sneaky and I say, "hey how do you spell your name" and then I can kinda of piece it together or take it back to when roll was called and if they confirmed/denied the pronunciation of their name.


    Monday, February 16, 2015

    Jordan's thoughts on FLOWY tops

    So spring is coming, maybe, whatever, eventually it'll show up. In that time I've Seen huge rack change in all my favorite clothing retail stores. Repeat spring patterns are popping up again, like Floral patterns, pastels and FLOWY tops.


    FLOWY tops can fit into a plethora of categories. Wide shirts, crop tops, flow sleeves, pregnancy tops, ponchos all fit into this little "flow" vibe. 

    To me, these FLOWY shirts are one size fits all or one size makes me look huge. 

    Personally, I only have one opinion about these tops and that is "I DONT LIKE THEM"

    *end post*

    No I'm kidding but I don't care for them. They don't flatter anyone's body unless your a size zero but isn't "thin in" why would you hide that then? Fashion is confusing. 



    Take this too for example. That looks more like a hassle than a statement. I know she's capturing the bohemian look but like who wants that much fabric hanging from their shoulders? PLUS, look at how freaking tiny the sleeves are ?! This shirt was built for a 3X but instead those women can't wear it as a regular top because the sleeves were made for tooth picks. Good job fashion.



    This girl has an hour glass figure. FLOWY tops work okay with busty women but if you've got hips, flaunt it. These tops force you to hide it. It makes her look wide all around just because she has broader shoulders doesn't mean the rest of the top should flow with the shoulders and take away her tinier waist line. 


    Even her face says "Why am I wearing this, this does nothing for me."



    Are you trying to be a ghost? Or cast a spell? All these sleeves are doing for anyone is creating special effects when you talk with your hands. 

    I know this post is about FLOWY tops but I had to include FLOWY pants just because I think they're ridiculous. Half of the time these "FLOWY" ants are too tight for the average thick thigh person and they on,y flow in the calf area (bellow bell bottom era.) 


    And incase you thought those weren't enough we have crop tops that are FLOWY and wide. I'm not sure if they were made for bigger/bustier women and then small girls just started wearing them? Are they meant to be worn with high waisted pants? Does the excess fabric tickle your arms? HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND





    Tuesday, February 10, 2015

    14 Reasons to be Single on the 14th

    Valentines day is literally the most selfless day of the year for some and most selfish day of the year for others. Those wrapped up in a relationship spend the day trying to please they're partner with gifts, food and sweets, while on the other side of the coin the singles are living for themselves. 

    14. Renew your Netflix subscription. You are the ruler of the remote 

    13. You can buy that big stuffed animal for yourself… which is probably why your single in the first place.

    12.You will save money. Valentine's Day dinners are easily $60 a person and you can only order weird food options like tripe and cow tongue with side of sprouts. Plus, an added bonus you don't have to worry about are making dinner plans.

    11. 50 shades of Grey is coming out. You can go watch it and no one can tell you otherwise. Seeing it with your friends is not pathetic, its easier than dragging a boyfriend to it. 




    10. You can send all the snapchats you want and no one will tell you to put your phone down.

    9. Everyone at the bar is probably single.

    8. You can ignore the holiday all together.

    7.Order yourself your own all male a cappella group (shirtless) to serenade your sorrows away or a mariachi band, what ever turns your crank.




    6. St. Valentine was single, so technically you’re keeping the tradition strong.

    5. If you head to wal-mart like at 7:00 p.m. the candy will already be reduced in price. 

    4. Botox parties usually have a discount for singles on Valentines Day

    3. Your phone won't die because all your friends probably have loved ones and they'll be with them instead of texting you. (is this one too harsh? Your single, you can take it)




    2. I think Law and Order SVU is having a marathon on Valentines day if you want to get all the sappy love crap out of your face.

    1. Your blanket, or your dog, can be your valentine. Along with that giant stuffed animal.

    Monday, February 9, 2015

    His and Hers Valentines Gift Guide



    Valentines day is here again. Maybe you've spent the last 18 years eating the half off chocolate on the 15th  and this is your first shot at love or you've spent every year with the love of your life celebrating the fire you have for one another, there is always the struggle of what to gift to your significant other! Is chocolate and flowers too cliche? What about those giant stuffed bears? Fine jewelry accompanied by fine dining? Valentines day is a Hallmark made up holiday that allows you to appreciate the loved ones in your life. I'm not complaining, if I have to give a little to get a little I'm totally cool with that.

    Anyways, back to the real problem at hand. Here are some more specific gift ideas that Cosmo and online articles fail to mention in their "10 things to buy your loved one" articles. Those are always so brief and vague. "Jewelry" -_- Okay, well how much do I spend? Do I get my man jewelry or is it only for ladies? Where do I go? etc, etc, etc.

    Not to Fear I'm here to help.


    1.Bracelets
    For him: Guys don't do that shiny, crystal-ly, pink and red jewelry women go for. Try to do a leather bracelet or something more scruffy. Silver bands are cool too if he's into it, you really have to know your valentine to know though.

    For her:
    The diamonds and gems are out done and out dated. Save Swarovski for Santa and get her an Alex and Ani bracelet. They're cute, custom, and totally meaningful.


    2. Chocolate
    For Him: Is he an Alcohol guy? Buy hime some liquor chocolates. You can get practically any flavor. Pick his favorite and wrap it in a chocolate.
    http://www.candywarehouse.com/flavors/liquor-candy/
    For Her: Marble chocolates will be the way to their heart. They always say a women is like a box of chocolates an you never know what you're going to get. Try these Norman Love Confections and you definitely wont.
    http://www.normanloveconfections.com/shop.html
     



    3.Flowers
    For Him: A single rose. If you want to be super cute you could even do white, but red is definitely sign of "Valentine" too. Don't get him a bouquet. He doesn't get all googly eyed like girls do.
    For Her: A Bouquet. Roses are great but get creative and do like a special bouquet. They can get price so if tats the case just stick with something from a local florist shop. Try to avoid all grocery stores if you're giving flowers as your only gift. And hide the receipt.



    4. Underwear (can be a "sexy gift" but can also be a "you need this" gift they'll never know
    For Him: Splurge a little and get him the Calvin Klein set of boxers or brief. I've heard the cotton is pretty soft.
    For Her: I suggest a gift card to Victoria's secret unless you 100% know her size and style.




    5. Baskets
    For Him: A BroBasket. Its exactly what you think it is. A basket full of bro items. Redbull, beer, shot glasses, mini alcohol bottles, movie tickets, a package of bacon, a key chain, spray paint? ,idk you know your boo better than I do. You can make your own or buy one.
    https://thebrobasket.com/
    For Her: Luxury it up. I'm talkin bath melts and bath bombs from LUSH, bath and body works, do the most with this. Give her the gift of relaxation. A spa day (mani and pedi at the very minimum, but a massage is an added bonus.)



    6. A Card (On a budget? These things always get over looked)
    For Him: Get hime a sarcastic card
    For Her:Get her a sarcastic card
    Ain't nobody got time for that sappy crap, unless you actually have time you can always add like some sort of coupon book or something. They're pretty easy to make.



    7. An Item and An Activity
    For Him: So he's a gamer, fetch him a cool pair of light up headphones, and attach a coupon for allowing 1 hour of gaming together (if he wants to teach you) or 12 hours of gaming peace, etc. Or maybe a laser tag/nerf ball set.
    For Her: A gift card to her favorite store and that you will be sure to give your true and honest opinion on every piece of clothing she tries on. Or if she's into running, get her those NIKEid shoes she been looking at and go running with her when she first uses them!
    http://www.nike.com/us/en_us/c/nikeid



    8. Personalize it
    For Him:  A keychain. Nothing to big or heavy just like a silver canvas that has your name and date engraved on it or something, you could even do a plain locket type and put a picture of you two in it. ACTUALLY PUT THE PHOTO IN IT THOUGH.
    (one time I gave my boyfriend a watch and left the standard photo in there and I still get crap to this day about it)
    For Her: Theres a couple ways you could go about this.
    1.) If you live together, get a plaque or some cute quote that has both of your names on it. We love interior decorating. MAKE SURE THE COLORS MATCH THE HOUSE
    2.) A plain bangle with an important quote, your names, date, etc engraved on it. Things Remembered is a good start but I would try Etsy.
    3.) Along with the plaque thing, you could get a pillow or a blanket. Personally I think you should give her a blanket with your face on it, just because no one would ever be able to top that.




    Something to keep in mind while buying this Valentines day gift: You have to top every previous ex's gift they've ever received. Happy Hunting, friends!


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