Monday, February 2, 2015

How to Avoid Girl Scout Cookie Season

We all know how lethal these little girls in sashes, buttons, and green skirt things are when they whip out those boxes of Thin Mints. It's a ploy these 7-11 year olds made up and it could easily cause world war three at the rate their going. Then again, a cookie world war doesn't sound like too bad of an idea.



Anyways, these cookies come right at the New Years resolutions weakest point. Your about a month and a half in with your healthy diet and BAM you're slipped in the face with some Carmel Delights. These girls are 11 years old and their marketing plan is stronger than Apple's. Coming from someone who is at least trying to be more conscious of what they're putting into their body I will not be subjected to eating another line of Peanut Butter Patties and calling that "breakfast," not this year.

Keep strong to your resolutions, your daily resolution, or just your healthy conscious and say NO to the Girl Scout cookies ! Give your tummy a quick pat for added effect. Make sure you don't know the girl though because if she sees you take a sip or bite of anything greasy, chocolatey and fattening you're done for.

1. Say You're on a diet!
Maybe you are, maybe you aren't how will those little munchkins ever know?  Either way you've avoided a direct attack of cuteness. Stay strong.

2.Offer to donate money instead
You wanna say yes, you really do but instead let the girl scout that is scouting you out pick her own flavors and you can buy them for her! Or just leave the money and RUN!

3. Tell them you bought from your daughter, niece, student etc.
A little fib... again. Man these girl scouts got you bad. But once again how will they know?

4. Just say "No, Thank you."
Be polite, they're old enough to understand that you just might not want any. No need to blow up on them about how your grandma that just passed away bought you a box every year since you were 4 etc. Just say "Thanks, but not Thanks."

5. AVOID ALL GROCERY STORES
Send someone else to fetch your things. You no NOT go into that grocery store.  Order your food online until this the GS Fever passes.

6. Don't Cave
Stay strong. You have to really commit. Be the cookie, don't eat the cookie is your mantra for the next month and a half.

7. HIDE
Literally stay inside your house until April.


GOOD LUCK! May the odds be ever in your Favor.

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