Thursday, March 26, 2015

Crummy Customer Crimes: Have You Committed Any?



Ever been guilty of a Crummy Customer Crime? If there is one thing that unites the retail world, it is the customer base that walks into every store. We are slaves to the wage of retail, and our masters are every type of customer that walks through that door. Don't get me wrong we have decent customers, but they don't make for as interesting of stories, and they don't commit customer crimes!

The Fake-Out
As the lady hands you nine shoes to get, you're thinking to yourself this might be a good sale. Then you find out when you grab the shoes and the customer either
1.) leave before you return with the goods
2.) try on some of the shoes, become bored, then leave
3.) say nothing is working for you, bye.
Yeah, thanks for wasting my time *waves* have a FANTASTIC day.

The Scummy Returner
Oh, its buy one get one 30% off?! Nah, I only want one. *Checks out and keeps looking* "Oh wait, can I get this and still get the 30% off?"

The Negotiator
Hi! Tank tops are 50% off. "You mean free?" I mean, no. Are these on sale? No, there is no sign indicating they are on sale ma'am. I'm sure you can do something. I'm sure I can't. My favorite is when they ask to use my discount. Yeah, let me get right on that for you strange woman I have never met.

The Oblivious Customer
"Do you work here?" Said the customer to the associate decked out in lanyards, name tags, stretchy bracelets with keys and a walkie. Nope. No way! She does not work here. I mean maybe.  She's folding clothes. I'd better ask.

The Display Ruiner
"Oh, these are in the middle of the pile, I'll just take these so all of the jeans can fall over." Why stop at the jeans, let's knock all of the polos onto the ground too. I could have just asked for help I suppose. No, I'll do it myself. "Oh, look, another pile!"

 The Kid Bringer
Why would anyone want to be responsible for a child in the middle of a mall, let alone multiple children? Yes, please, let them run around the entire store and get themselves into trouble so you can apologize even though you let them do it in the first place.

The Peruser
Oh, you're just browsing, but trying every single shoe on. No, please don't put that back where you found it. Yep, the floor looked like a good spot to me too. Next time take the laces out of the display while you're at it. Don't you want anything? Nothing? Oh, bye, I'll just clean this up I guess.

The Last Minute Shopper
The music is off, the doors are closing, everything is neat, straight and clean. "It's 8:55. Hun, let's go in here," said the zealous shopper. "Hunny, walk right back out that door," said the impatient retail worker. I'll just stand here like a lemon waiting for you to go about your business, in the silence, with the doors closed. You have my full attention. Don't touch anything, don't touch anything, don't touch anything.

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