Monday, January 2, 2017

A Blind Forecast of The Bachelor's 30 New Contenstants

Grab your wine glasses and gather around the TV, because "The Bachelor" is back! The 21st season of "The Bachelor" returns, and it's expected to be the most uniting season of them all with Nick Viall as the newest bachelor. Before becoming the bachelor himself, Nick Viall has been on three separate ABC variations of the show and finally has his chance at finding love. After being let down not once, not twice, but THREE times on this show, you would think he would know television love isn’t his calling, yet here we are. Now 30 lovely (some not so lovely) ladies will come to the bachelor mansion and try to win over his Wisconsin-rooted heart.
So who are the lucky contenders in the 2017 season of "The Bachelor" and what juicy events will we have to look forward to as we follow this journey of love? Meet the contestants below and see where I think they'll end up in the 21st season of ABC's "The Bachelor."

Alexis

Alexis: Aspiring Dolphin Trainer, 23

There seems to be a lot of dolphin love on this show this season and Alexis takes the cake with her occupation choice— that's if you count “aspiring dolphin trainer" as an occupation. I'm not really sure what the requirements are for that. In her glamour shot, she wore a blue T-shirt with jeans. I don’t think we can expect this girl to roll up in an extravagant gown on night one.

angela

Angela: Model, 26

I think this girl is actually my spirit animal. She can’t live without her lip balms or hair tie—classic necessities of being a girl. Don’t let the basics of her necessities fool you, though. When asked “if she never had to do ___, I would be very happy,” she answered: "Drive myself anywhere." Well, honey, looks like the bachelor is the right show for you. Driver!

astrid

Astrid: Plastic Surgery Office Manager, 26

This girl is on the hunt for a man. She would want to be an animal to rescue lost sailors, is afraid of dying alone (and being wrinkly), and never wants to work. She is going to take this competition straight to the end, but is she in it for love? Nick, watch out for this one. We would hate to see you be a runner up, AGAIN.

briana

Briana: Surgical Nurse, 28

This one will have a sense of humor for sure, but will she love her dog more than Nick? I think Brittany has potential to be a wildcard as well. I'm not sure what to expect, except for some awesome commentary. A little sassy on the side, please!

brittany

Brittany: Travel Nurse, 26

Well-cultured, I’m sure, since she is a travel nurse. But I don’t see her making it past night one. There’s nothing to make her stand out. Not even her height which is a promising 5-feet-and-2-inches. Plus, when asked if she preferred team or solo sports, she answered “Team: I love some competition and it makes it more exciting and a good time.” Sorry Brittany, there can only be one winner here.
christen

Christen: Wedding Videographer, 25

This girl has some great potential to be absolutely insane. She wants to know the facts behind everything so much that she would want to trade places with the president JUST to see what really goes on behind those White House doors. There is some potential crazy here that could make for some nice television but not a relationship.
corinne

Corinne: Business Owner, 24

I don’t like this girl from the get-go. I’m getting some extremely self-centered vibes from her. Maybe it’s because I think without the smile, her RBF would be on point. I don’t think she will get sent home right away, but I do think she won’t be making any friends while she is here.

danielle l

Danielle L: Small Business Owner, 27

One of my favorites. She seems so genuine and ready to have a good time! If the most embarrassing thing about her is she listens to Glee soundtracks, she HAS to be a keeper. Nick, don’t be dumb with this one. Take her home to meet your family!

danielle m

Danielle M: Neonatal Nurse, 31

She’s 5 feet 10 inches. Sorry to say, but she’ll be 86’d because of her height. Nick likes shorter girls, and with him standing at 6 feet and 2 inches, there’s not a lot of wiggle room there. She will definitely be the emotional piece of the puzzle, considering she recently lost her fiancĂ© and needs a fresh start at love… I’m just not sure it's here.

dominique

Dominique: Restaurant Server, 25

Retiring her Tinder profile, this girl is looking for the real thing. She enjoys brunch and gossip. Girl, you came to the right place. I see her as the girl who starts drinking at 10 a.m. but will have it together whenever Nick is in the room.

liz

Liz: Doula, 29

Shh… She and Nick have actually hooked up before. I think she’s here to see if there really is something between her and the 36-year-old bachelor returner. I think Nick will keep her around for comfort in the beginning, but she is not hometown material. I give her until week five.

elizabeth

Elizabeth: Marketing Manager, 24

She is a real contender. Smart, clever and stunning in every way possible. I think she has final-rose-ceremony potential! If Nick lets this one go, you can bet I’ll be rooting for her to be the next bachelorette. As long as she’s not crazy! But that could make for an interesting season too. Hmm…

hailey

Hailey: Photographer, 23

Remember Lace from Ben’s season? This girl will make the season, I promise. She will be the blunt one of the bunch. Nick, I hope you like a girl that will tell it how it is because this one won’t keep her opinions to herself. She might even leave on her own if you don’t make the appropriate amount of eye contact with her.

ida

Ida Marie: Sales Manager, 23

She has a subtle hint of weirdness that just might get her far enough. When asked what fruit she would be, she said, “Strawberry—they are sexual and taste great with wine.” I think she’ll be the one to make group dates and contestants wild. Potential, for the first kiss, but I think it's because she'll take it, not because Nick will offer.
jaimi

Jaimi: Chef, 28

This girl catered the Oscars! She has some real homemaking potential if that’s what Nick is looking for. She also made it known that she can bench press a guy with her legs. Look out, Nick, you might have some competition on your hands.

jasmine

Jasmine B: Flight attendant, 25

I don’t know if I trust this girl. Her answers to these questions are all over the place. She says an ex would describe her as too nice and cares too much, but then turns around and says, "I don't usually chase men. I know I'm attractive and have a lot of great qualities." Sounds like a little bit of drama could stir up with this one.

jasmine g

Jasmine G: Pro Basketball Dancer, 29

Apparently the girl version of Guy Fieri, this pro sports performer is highly into reality TV shows. She used to dance for the Dallas Cowboys, and I’m pretty sure there is a TV show regarding their auditions. I can’t argue with her favorite TV shows, though, which include "A League of Their Own," "Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead," and "Scandal," so she could be well-rounded. I fully expect her to show up in pom-poms and her dance outfit for the first impression round.

josephine

Josephine: Registered Nurse, 24

Maybe it’s the fire in her eyes, but there is something very unsettling about this one. She used to be in theater, but I don’t think she’s fooling anyone on this season. She is in this to win it and will make a statement doing so. In reality, though, I don’t think she will make it past the first-impression round.

kristina

Kristina: Dental Hygenist, 24

I don’t think the viewers will know what to think with this one. She is arm candy and a girl you want to chug a beer with as well. I think we have a good sense of humor on our hands with this one. She has a great sense of style for someone who wears scrubs on the daily.

lacey

Lacey: Marketing Manager, 25

This girl is too good for Nick, honestly. She might even leave on her own before Nick realizes what a keeper she is. Close to her family and often finds herself giving people the benefit of the doubt, she is the total girl next door. I could definitely see her returning for the "Bachelor in Paradise," though.

lauren

Lauren: Law School Graduate, 30

“I give 100 percent,” she says, when asked how to describe herself as a lover, *wink wink* Nick. Maybe you’ll take this one up to fantasy suites? She might be fun for a little bit but just so we're clear, law school graduate is not an occupation… Nothing further.

michelle

Michelle: 24, Food Truck Owner

Home girl owns a food truck! This LA gal is down-to-earth and different. Kayaking is one of her favorite hobbies, so I think Nick will have to take this one out of the mainland on one of their bachelor trips. She’s expected to last a couple weeks.

olivia

Olivia: 25, Apparel Sales Representative

Pocahontas hair will capture Nick in. If you saw "Bachelor in Paradise," you know Caila was his sweetheart there. These two definitely have some similar features. She is hometown material for sure!

rachel

Rachel: 31, Attorney

Right there in Nick's age bracket, she is sure to be a fan favorite! Nick, be sure to get to hometowns with this one so you can see her mom, who is apparently 60 and flawless. At the end, Nick isn’t smart enough to give this "10" the final rose. Maybe we will see her on the next season of "The Bachelorette!"

raven

Raven: Fashion Boutique Owner, 25

From Hoxie, Arkansas, this hometown girl has potential to be a total catch or a total mess. She can’t cook for her life but is so appreciative of anything anyone gives to her. First-impression rose looks pretty bright for this one.

sarah

Sarah: Grade School Teacher, 26

Honestly, I think the only thing she has going for her is that she likes kids. I don’t think there will be much to remember here. She might make it a week or two. She’s cute but not bachelorette material either.

susannah

Susannah: Account Manager, 26

An account manager for what? For who? That’s too vague for us fans to work with. Oh, your favorite Disney princess is Ariel? Tell me what girl doesn’t want to be a mermaid. There’s no craft here.

taylor

Taylor: Mental Health Counselor, 23

Her answers were blunt and to the point (notice how I didn’t say simple and sweet), almost as if she wanted to get out of that interview room as fast as possible. Her best attributes are honesty and transparency; aren’t those the same thing? Your career is inspiring, and I think you should focus on your practice before you focus on this 36-year-old trying to find love.

vanessa

Vanessa: Special Education Teacher, 29

This girl is 5 feet and 3 ½ inches. I just wanted to throw that “1/2” part out there for specifics. She doesn’t like to hurt others' feelings; well then, honey, good luck fighting for the man with all of the roses. Times will be tough during this round. I think she'll be the last to get a first date.

Whitney: Pilates Instructor, 25

She minds all of her Ps and Qs, dots all of her "I’s" and crosses all of her "Ts." I do not expect her to stir up any drama, and she will probably fly under the radar until the week before hometowns; you know, when it really counts.
No longer the runner up, I hope you can seal the deal with one of these lucky ladies, Nick. If you're a "Bachelor" fanatic like I am, be sure to fill out your fantasy league before the premiere on Jan 2nd! Check out each contestant's profile here and be a judge yourself!

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