I Got A Brazilian Wax And Now I'm Never Shaving Again


Summer is on its way in which means hair is on its way out. We can only hibernate for so long until the bikini HAS to make an appearance. I'm still trying to figure out why our bodies produce so much hair in all these uncomfortable places. Like, come on, the hooha area, seriously? I'd like to share my complaints with the big man upstairs, but until then, it's an issue us ladies all have to deal with.

First things first, there is nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to hair removal. I started shaving when I was in my early teens. It was quick, easy, and come to find out I had a very steady hand. It's a fool-proof method, apparently, because ten years later, I was still practicing the same shaving habits. Until this past January, when I decided to switch it up with a more drastic hair removal technique, a Brazilian. 

How did I get to this point? In a short answer, sheer laziness. It's not like you wake up one day and say "Yes. Today is the day I pour hot wax on the most sensitive area of my body.” 

My OBGYN had a conversation with me about it. She told me she only had to go in every TWO MONTHS to get re-waxed. Well, that hit home. I can go two months without putting a razor down there and wear a bikini with confidence no stragglers will poke out?

One month later, there I was, legs butterflied out and all of my vulnerabilities exposed. Yes. I decided to rip all of the hair out of my vagine because I wanted to be as lazy as possible.

Let me tell you about my first time.

I called inquiring about an appointment and they took that opportunity to ask how long I have been letting my hair grow out. Wow. We get real personal real quick. I said one week and she said, I’ll make you an appointment three weeks from now. My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe I had to wait three more weeks. I was already itching at the seams. Pun intended. That was probably the hardest part, but the time finally came for D-day, and I was ready. 

Upon arrival, I was checked in and lead to a room where I was told to strip my lower half and get up onto the “bed,” for lack of a better word. It’s that same kind of bed you would see in urgent care rooms.  The esthetician came back in and explained the process which was especially reassuring for a novice like me.

Next, I butterflied my legs out as she spread warm wax on my bikini line. She then covered the other side with wax while the previous section dried. This whole time she was explaining precisely what she is doing because I was internally (maybe externally too) sweating with anticipation.

Then comes the first tear. The esthetician did a little tug just to get the wax up from my skin, so she has some leverage to pull. She told me to breathe in, so I sucked in my breath expecting to breathe in, exhale, and then the pull will come. SO WRONG. She told me to breathe in, and that was when she pulled. I didn’t even see it coming, and it didn’t hurt because I was so concentrated on breathing in, anticipating the pull was going to come after I sucked in, but it was done by the time the oxygen hit my lungs! After the strip was pulled, she immediately applied pressure to the area with her hands so there was hardly any pain after. 

I felt like a champion. There were a couple more pulls and tugs like that along the bikini line, but the kicker was actually in my frontal vagine cortex. You would think that would hurt the least, but that area tugs the most. Your hair is more coarse in that area and the skin is very tough making the follicles slightly more stubborn.  There's only one or two strips for that area but, boy, I remember them.

She was outstanding about checking in with me. Everyone has different pain levels. Mine lingers right around a 2 out of 100, so EVERYTHING hurts me. I was still surprised I let myself get to this point but she was an excellent cheerleader for me. She hyped me up telling me I was a good client and was doing so well. I needed that because I was so nervous I just started talking about whatever came to mind while she spread wax all over me. 

Next, she moved to my inner lip area. Let me tell you, that is a weird sensation. It's almost soothing but I knew what was coming after the wax dried (the tug) and it dimmed the soothing aspect by a long-shot. The calm before the storm. Anticipation was racking up at that point because that area is primarily all skin, with no muscle or bone to hold it down while she pulls. She pulled, and the only thing I could think of was people doing the wave at a baseball game. You know how some people stand and some don’t participate. I got that same feeling with that strip of wax. Inevitably it stung, but it was a rolling sting.

After all is said and done in the front, it’s time to move to the back. Yep. I came this far, so it's time to sail home. With my knees pressed to my chest and all of my vulnerabilities exposed, she swiped some wax along my crack line. Shell told me to breathe in and relax. All I could think to myself was how impossible it was to relax in a situation like that. I don't believe she waited for me to finish that conversation in my head because before I knew it, she pulled.  Literally the least painful area to deal with. WHO WOULDVE THOUGHT?! She removed with the grain instead of against it making it so much more bearable. 

After I caught my breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, she touched up any areas with tweezers and put the soothing serum in the area to prevent in-grown hairs and redness. 

Congratulations, you’ve just experienced my first Brazilian wax. 

Four months later I've been to the esthetician three times and haven't dabbled in any shaving techniques down there. After my first appointment I went back five weeks later. Then I went back five weeks later after my second appointment. This last go around she told me I could probably wait SEVEN weeks before I come back again. THAT'S ALMOST TWO MONTHS HAIR FREE Y'ALL. My showers are super quick and everything down there is so smooth. I have way less irritation because any itchiness disappears. I'm also not as sensitive to certain underwear fabrics. 

I think Brazilian's get a bad rep because so many people have "bad experiences" with them, but if you only go once, yeah, it will be freaking awful.  The hair is more coarse, and the root has never been pulled. Over time, the hair is less rough, more comfortable to tear off, and lasts longer. You won't be bald eagle until your second time around because the wax cannot pick up all of the hair on the first go around. You might feel defeated because we want instant satisfaction but on your next appointment you will have way fewer stragglers. 

TIPS TO CONSIDER:

-Make sure your hair is about 1/4 inch long. Too long will be PAINFUL, too short, the wax won’t grab anything, and you’ll still have to pay for the service

-Wear cotton panties for less irritation afterward

-Go the week before or the week after your period. Your sensitive levels are hinged by all your hormones happening down there.

-Lastly, swallow a glass of Vino about 15 minutes before your appointment to kill some roots of anxiety

Care to share your first time? Any other tips? This is a real girl talk topic, so lets get to sharing.