The Cheaters Guide to Rocking a Hangover


Okay, so, you drank a lot. No shame, but now it's time to pay up because your body is so not thriving right now. You would rather eat peanut butter off a homeless man's foot than go to work today. What are your options?



You can call out. That can have some worse repercussions down the line though.

You can get someone to cover your shift. You've probably asked Sheryl to take your last three Sunday shifts so that's not looking too good.

So what are you going to do? Fake it to make it and cheat the system. 

How? I've seen and experienced, enough hangovers in my day to know what the tell-tale signs of a rough day look like.

Color. Specifically Pink.

Blush or pinched cheeks will be your saving grace. This goes for you to gentlemen. Pinch your cheeks a tad every time you have to interact with upper management, just to liven up your face a tad. If you feel like death, 9/10 times, you look it too.

Never Underestimate The Power Of A Good Outfit

Appearances talk, and yours will say a lot. I like to follow my 2/3 rule which you can read about HERE. Aside from that, make sure you look presentable. Any effort you have left over should go towards your make up regimen.  Do not throw on some yoga pants or a baggy v-neck because its comfortable. The better you look, the better you feel. This concept applies to hangovers too.

Two words: False Eyelashes

Wake up those lashes. You probably don't want to put them on because your vision is already blurry, but TRUST ME. This will open your eyes 3x wider. As long as you can keep your eyes open... Eyelashes are designed to give you a bold look so even when you're not feeling so lively; they'll help with your overall appearance. Don't have any falsies? Guess what they're economical, and you can get a pair for like $1.

Caffeine, Electrolytes, and Water

You need all three of these to succeed. Find yourself a Starbucks or a gas station and get a Redbull or an Espresso. Get your gears going. Throughout the day sip on some Pedialyte (Advanced Care is for adults). Replenish those electrolytes you deplete from the night before. Keep this as close as possible to you at all times throughout the day. Finally, water. This is your HOLY GRAIL. You will never feel like you are getting enough because you aren't, but the more you drink, the more you will have to go to the bathroom, thus creating more chances you have to throw up if that's on your radar.  BOOM.

Breakfast IS The Most Important Meal Of The Day

If you can stomach anything, go for the superfoods. Bananas are filled with potassium which contains a plethora of electrolytes that your body is missing. Any food that is bright in color wouldn't be a bad idea. Whole west crackers are a  nice little slice of happiness in your tummy too. There's not much to break down but can fill a little bit of that empty void in your stomach. Stay away from greasy foods even though we all know you wake up craving greasy hash browns and grilled cheese. Or maybe that's just me. Right now.

Attitude Check

Mind over matter, hunny. Believe in yourself. Don't wallow in your sorrow. Show that hangover who is boss. I'm not saying find a cure for cancer, but put a smile on for crying out loud. This will all be over in like 8 hours.

Honestly, have another drink

Science backs this one up, so don't write this off. The hair of the dog. It is a temporary solution to your temporary problem. I don't understand the science mumbo jumbo but it is something having to do with alcohol stopping your methanol compound process. I will advise for you to do this at your own risk because there is a chance your symptoms can worsen later in the day

POP QUIZ:

What two words are the most important to Rocking a Hangover?

a. False Eyelashes
b. Attitude Check
c. Another Drink


If you answered any of the answers below, we know where your priorities lie the deepest. Resonate with that and rule the work day!

You've officially graduated from Hangover 1000. 


I'm no expert in this, just experienced. What are your go-to methods? Tell me about them in the comments below!