Why the Closer I Get to Graduating, The More I Want To Stay In School

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Does anybody else feel like this? Almost as if life gets real, really fast. Where did the four years go? It seems like yesterday I got my cap and gown for high school and now I'm ordering another one for college.

It is normal to have anxiety about graduation. I spent twelve years in secondary education where the only thing teachers prepare me for was post-secondary education, and then I spent four (I got lucky) years in college figuring out what I want to do with my life. No one prepared me for what comes after.

Don't get me wrong. I am hysterically eager to be done with tests, group projects, and know-it-all professors. The actual concept of ending school excites me, but I cannot help but wonder if I am finishing in the right place.

"So what is your plan after graduation?"

This past semester this question has come up on more than a few occasions. Every time I am asked, I answer differently than before. I cannot just slide by with a simple "Well, I think I would like to do this, but I have time to figure it out." Realistically, my time is running short.

The closer I come to ordering my cap and gown the farther away I feel I'm in the right major. I loved all my classes, and I know I could get a nice job with the degree I am seeking, but there is not enough fulfillment and joy for me to be excited about the after-college life.

Throughout this last semester, I've had a couple of realizations that I love my studies, but I also like other things too. With only one semester left I couldn't possibly change course now. My eyes are set on the prize, but if that prize is lifelong fulfillment, then it's a challenge to tell if I am going to be a winner. I keep considering things like going back to my original major in architecture, becoming a teacher (summers are a great perk), studying history, or even having a career in journalism.

Am I indecisive or am I an open-minded person? Am I in the wrong field or am I a flexible human being who can perform well in almost any industry?  I was so focused on graduating on time and finishing school; I don't think I stopped to explore any more options. By changing my major, all of my electives were used, and I had to tack on a couple more classes each semester to graduate on time, not leaving me any opportunities to explore a new field.

Graduation seems like a door closing, but in reality, it is an open shot at doing a job you could be destined for greatness for or ultimately fail at. I think failing is the reason why the closer I come to graduating; the more I want to stay in school. I hear success stories about people getting into CEO positions right out of college but what if my story isn't a success? Remind yourself to pick up a pen and try again.

I do not regret taking my major in any way. I can see myself being substantially happy in the event planning- hospitality industry, it is just that I could also see myself being significantly delighted majoring in architecture, becoming a teacher, studying history, or having a career in journalism too. So who knows, I might be ordering multiple cap and gowns, or I might get it right the first time.

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