Why the Closer I Get to Graduating, The More I Want To Stay In School

Does anybody else feel like this? Almost as if life gets real, really fast. Where did the four years go? It seems like yesterday I got my cap and gown for high school and now I'm ordering another one for college.

It is normal to have anxiety about graduation. I spent twelve years in secondary education where the only thing teachers prepare me for was post-secondary education, and then I spent four (I got lucky) years in college figuring out what I want to do with my life. No one prepared me for what comes after.

Don't get me wrong. I am hysterically eager to be done with tests, group projects, and know-it-all professors. The actual concept of ending school excites me, but I cannot help but wonder if I am finishing in the right place.

"So what is your plan after graduation?"

This past semester this question has come up on more than a few occasions. Every time I am asked, I answer differently than before. I cannot just slide by with a simple "Well, I think I would like to do this, but I have time to figure it out." Realistically, my time is running short.

The closer I come to ordering my cap and gown the farther away I feel I'm in the right major. I loved all my classes, and I know I could get a nice job with the degree I am seeking, but there is not enough fulfillment and joy for me to be excited about the after-college life.

Throughout this last semester, I've had a couple of realizations that I love my studies, but I also like other things too. With only one semester left I couldn't possibly change course now. My eyes are set on the prize, but if that prize is lifelong fulfillment, then it's a challenge to tell if I am going to be a winner. I keep considering things like going back to my original major in architecture, becoming a teacher (summers are a great perk), studying history, or even having a career in journalism.

Am I indecisive or am I an open-minded person? Am I in the wrong field or am I a flexible human being who can perform well in almost any industry?  I was so focused on graduating on time and finishing school; I don't think I stopped to explore any more options. By changing my major, all of my electives were used, and I had to tack on a couple more classes each semester to graduate on time, not leaving me any opportunities to explore a new field.

Graduation seems like a door closing, but in reality, it is an open shot at doing a job you could be destined for greatness for or ultimately fail at. I think failing is the reason why the closer I come to graduating; the more I want to stay in school. I hear success stories about people getting into CEO positions right out of college but what if my story isn't a success? Remind yourself to pick up a pen and try again.

I do not regret taking my major in any way. I can see myself being substantially happy in the event planning- hospitality industry, it is just that I could also see myself being significantly delighted majoring in architecture, becoming a teacher, studying history, or having a career in journalism too. So who knows, I might be ordering multiple cap and gowns, or I might get it right the first time.