Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating

Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating

If you've been following me on social media you might've noticed I've been a little nosey about your dating life. I promise it is to help the greater good haha. A huge topic that I seem to come in contact with all too often is online dating. Meeting people in person in a technologically induced world has taken a decline. The social hot button for most folks seems to be online dating apps and meeting people over them. It is either a hush-hush topic or boldly blasted all over. Where is the middle ground here?




I know plenty of friends that have met over an online dating app, in person, via DMs, etc. We have access to so many people with the tips of our fingers that meeting people has the capability to be so easy but why is it still so hard?

I asked a series of questions and received an influx of answers (people are really passionate about this topic it seems like and I AM HERE FOR IT). I'm not a dating expert, but I am a curious individual, so I am not going to pretend like I know how to interpret all of this data. I even feel phony saying the word 'data' haha. BUT I'm hoping you can take pieces of this and apply it to your "How to meet people" methods. 



Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating


What's your go-to method to meet someone and how do you feel about it?


"I'm pro tinder. Only one guy convinced me to go out but two years later we are still dating."

"Apps. I wish it was easier to meet people in person."

"Stay off your phone and be in the moment in everyday life. My dogs pooped at the vet and I married the tech."

"Shamelessly hitting on every attractive person I see has been very successful"

"Friends of friends of brothers dentists of hairdressers mom."

"Tinder and I hate it. I live in a big city and EVERYBODY is on Tinder. So there you go."

"Tinder does its job well enough."

"I go out... A LOT."

"Traveling to other state or city but also going to my fave coffee shop and hoping prince caffeinated shows up."

"Literally just live life and don’t look for someone! It’ll happen when you least expect it."


Jordan's Thoughts: Okay so clearly, the overall vibe here is Tinder (or online dating apps) is the easiest spot to meet someone but mostly has a negative shadow cast upon it. People seem to be more excited about face to face contact. Is that because it's more of a genuine and traditional meetup? 


Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating

For those of you in a relationship, how did you meet?

"We met at school. We became good friends and studied all the time."

"At a small townie fest after party."

"Work"

"Tinder"

"He was working, I was partying."

"While he was shopping at my work"

"McFadden's! I saw him like two weeks prior with the same group of friends at SeƱor Frogs." <-- i="">That's fate if you ask me haha

"At a mutual friends concert that their band was playing in"

"Facebook DMs. He messaged me about a mutual friend."

Jordan's thoughts: What I'm gathering is none of this is ground-breaking material. Meeting people seems to be as easy as life presenting itself upon you, just sometimes with more of an internet presence than we are traditionally used to.

What is an online dating app but meeting a friend of a friend through a virtual realm? If you're swiping on people in your city, chances are they are a friend of a friend to some degree.  


Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating

What is the worst thing about online dating? The best?

Worst: 

"Weirdos-  I think it's safe to say for some, there is a reason they are doing online dating, you know?"

"Social cues are hard over messages."

"Players, players everywhere."


"I have all of these matches but no conversations. It just kind of feels like a shallow way to meet people."

"Everything you say feels so repetitive. Where do you work? What are you studying? What's your favorite color? Etc."


"Honestly, having to come up with some witty line is the worst"<-- about="" dating="" favorite="" low-key="" my="" nbsp="" online="" part="" span="">


"Intentions might not be pure ultimately ending up in me wasting my time."

"Ghosting sucks." 

-For those that are confused about what ghosting is, it is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

Best: 

"Finding out likes and dislikes before really investing in them and potentially wasting your time."

"You get to know someone a bit faster."

"I'm definitely braver behind a screen than I am in person."<- hit="" i="" me="" one="" this="" whoa="">

"First date's are not just coffee and drinks anymore. I went kayaking on a first date because we both had that as a common interest."

"It's an easy hookup."


"It's way easier to become friends if it doesn't work out."


Jordan's Thoughts: So what I'm gathering is online dating apps are convenient. If you don't really want to put in a lot of effort into dating then online apps are the way to go.

People think that online dating apps aren't organic, but honestly, what's not organic about them? It's just an alternative way to meet people that is not in the traditional sense. You still talk, you still get to know one another just as you would any other love interest. 


Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating

How do you approach someone or how have you been approached?

"Eye contact and a flirty side smile to reel em in." 
Side note: Okay if you've never seen Memoirs of a Geisha, they talk about how distracting a man with a single look is the final test to becoming a full Geisha. I feel like this applies here. 

"I normally point something out and compliment them on it. It’s hit or miss and it might take a couple tries. One time a guy told me I had nice eyebrows, then came back and clarified that the rest of my face was also very nice. It was endearing and genuine."

"Snapchat seems to be the matchmaker for me. They'll randomly pop into my inbox and we just get to talking."

"I swipe right."


"I ask about the game. I love when a girl is into sports so I'll ask her about the team she's wearing or if she's ever been to a XX game live. It's an easy ice breaker and easy for me to gauge how interested he is from there."


"I compliment them. It's usually a genuine compliment LOL." 


Jordan's Thoughts: It has to appear natural. This isn't something you can really fake to make. Compliments and a genuine interest seem to be key to your confidence AND your "move." 



Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating


Why did he/she just STOP talking to me?

I'm sure we've all seen this played out. The conversation is going great and then BAM out of nowhere you never hear from them again. Was it something you said? Did they find something out about me?  


With men:

"I seriously straight up forget..." 

"I had to put my phone on the charger and I was too lazy to get up off the couch to reply, and I guess I never got around to replying again."


"I got back with my ex."

"I got a promotion at work and got REALLY busy. I had to put my love life on the backburner for a bit."

"My emotions take a physical toll  so when I become depressed or busy I excommunicate myself from a lot of different platforms."


"I get the vibe we are looking for different things."


"I was bored with the convo."


"It was Thanksgiving, and we were getting into the holidays. I didn't want an attachment."



With ladies:


"He thought he was being sly, but I thought he was being rude."

"The conversation became dull."


"We definitely wanted different things." 


"I was over whatever "this" was."


"Things got really dirty really fast."


"It felt like a one-sided conversation, so I left. Thank u, next."


"I didn't want to send him my number."


Jordan's Thoughts: I seriously believe wholeheartedly that guys will straight up forget to reply. If they're digging a conversation, they will reply. Most girls write you off if you say one thing they don’t agree with. That saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea” rings true with the ladies because they’ll say thank u, next to any unwelcome innuendo comment they don’t agree with. 



Now for some stats! 

Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating


This was all done via Instagram polls so do with it what you want but its at least a little bit of information for ya!

When users were asked if a bad experience turned them off to dating apps or if they never liked them 54% answered "never tried it, never liked it" and 46% answered "wrote it off from previous bad experience"


Ladies were asked, would you rather guys make the first move? 90% answered "yes, guys need to make the first move" and 10% answered "no, ladies should make the first move"


Men were asked if they were into girls making the first move 57% answered "make the move" 43% answered "girls make the move"


Ladies were asked if they would rather be approached while flying solo or with a group of friends. Literally, I am floored. This was a 52/48 split. 52% prefer when they are alone and 48% prefer when they are with friends.


Men were asked if they would rather approach a girl while she is alone or with her friends and 60% answered "alone" 40% answered "with her friends"


I hope this gave you a little insight into how the online and offline dating world seems to be working. I certianly had fun prodding my way through all of your love lives. I think it is good to get another perspective on these things since online dating is such a controversial topic. Id love to know your thoughts on the process and if you have any insight for others! Lets chat in the comments below.





Meeting The One: Understanding Online and Offline Dating





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