Get Comfortable, Not Complacent: The Silent Relationship Killer

Thursday, February 6, 2020

comfortable relationship, moving in with your boyfriend, spice up your love life, spice up your relationship, spice up your marriage, conversation starters


In the world of relationships, nothing quite beats being in a steady and settled relationship. After spending some time with each other, you both have seen the best and worst sides of one another. Finally, you can stop with the full face of makeup, wondering if you're being too clingy,  or contemplating what fun interesting thing you can do next with one another.

Moving in with your significant other is a big step, but a common one. You grow to find out each other's daily habits, pet peeves and are super conscious about one another in the beginning. The trouble is that by the time you're living in happily cohabiting bliss, many couples look back on the early days of their relationships through rose-tinted glasses.

Seriously; there is something super special about how you and your partner behave towards one another in the beginning parts of your relationship. We would love to get all dressed up for one another for a fun night out, would miss our partner when they were gone, and try to contain the excitement when we lined up our next date.

The trouble is that, when you can see your honey at home, there's not as much of an incentive to get out together anymore. This is especially the case during winter when it's already dark and cold by the time you get home. Snuggling up on the sofa seems far more appealing!

When you speak to couples who have been here and done that, though, they're all going to tell you one thing - which you should get out together whenever you can! Slipping into the habit of staying in is a guaranteed relationship killer by comparison. And, here's why.

# 1 - Conversation killer


Aside from the standard 'how was your day?' nights in often end in television silence or even just browsing on your phones. Spend too many nights like this, and you're guaranteed to become two islands on different plains. Communication is key, remember! Going out for any reason can encourage you to talk. There's the car ride to fill for one, and you're way more likely to chat if you choose to eat out somewhere. There is little magic in making "your spot." I know a popular one for many couples is with AbacusJasper's Restaurant Group. They have wonderful restaurant atmospheres that inspire conversation between all parties. Doing small things with one another is sure to get you talking more at home. Even heading to the movies is sure to get you talking more than watching something at home. Do this at least once a month, and your relationship and communication are guaranteed to feel the benefits. 

Words of affirmation are a strong love language for a lot of people. Keep the conversation going and remind your significant other you are there for them.

# 2 - Who said nag?


No one’s perfect, and there are bound to be things that annoy you about each other once you live together. Those things will become a lot more obvious when you spend all your time indoors. Pair this with the pointer above, and you might only ever talk to nag at each other. When you're out and about, you are a bit more distracted with the time you are spending together, not that someone didn't put the toilet seat down, again! So, make an effort to do things elsewhere, before you kill each other!


# 3 - Experience anyone?


I love a nothing-night more than anyone else, but I can appreciate a good time out too. Sharing experiences is the baseline for any good relationship. That's the great thing about the dating stage, but your relationship is guaranteed to go stale if you remove this fundamental factor. Instead, you'll slip into bad habits and routines, and become more likely to take each other for granted. Don't let it happen.


# 4 - Share the chores, share the love


Figuring out who is doing what, how much each person is paying, and coming to compromises is the most important thing in a live-in relationship. Everyone needs to do their share. I know when I moved in I wanted nothing to do with yard work and I was like I'll take on all of the inside chores if my boyfriend will do the yardwork. That was our deal for the first like 8 months or so and then life got really busy for me. I started slacking a bit but that's not to say they weren't getting done. My boyfriend recognized the struggle and said, he would take on the dishes. Wow, that was so sweet. Little acts of service are a strong love language.

Embrace new experiences in any form they come at you and build a life together rather than just an existence. It's not rocket science, but it sure is likely to be more romantic! What are your complacent relationship tips?! Let's chat in the comments below.


comfortable relationship, moving in with your boyfriend, spice up your love life, spice up your relationship, spice up your marriage, conversation starters

2 comments

  1. This is such a good post to help you stay on top of communication in relationships! Thank you for sharing!
    Caitlin
    www.lemonadepressblog.com

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